Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Fernando's Hideaway: Edna Mode
Saludos my dahlings and you know who you are, welcome back to the hideaway.
Sharing the booth with me tonight is someone I am certain that you are all familiar with. She is well known throughout the world for her fashionable heroic attire. She has recently come under attack for her hard line stance on no capes. Please welcome Edna Mode.
Why dahling I’m breathless you look mahvelous absolutely mahvelous.
Of course dahling, did you expect that I wouldn’t? Hmm?
And I can tell by my reflection in your glasses that I too look mahvelous.
You look, oh how shall I say it? Well your hair looks marvelous, but those clothes. This is a hobo suit, dahling. You can't be seen in this. I won't allow it! In the seventies, maybe, but not now. You need a new suit. That much is certain.
A new suit? Well that’s hokey dokey with me, but where am I going to get a new suit at this hour?
You can't! It's impossible! I'm far too busy. So ask me now, before I again become sane.
You want to make for me, Nando, a new suit?
You push too hard, darling! But I accept. It will be bold. Dramatic! In fact I have already designed one for you.
You can try it on later.
You know why I love you dahling? You are always so prepared.
Yes, I know, dahling. I know.
Let’s move on to something else, we know that you design for the Supers, but who would you say has the best eye for commercial fashion?
Dahling I see from the many updated photographs on the walls behind us that you already share my answer. Of course that would be Tim Gunn.
You must know that I am a big fan of Tim’s, he has such mahvelous taste.
I recently watched your guest appearance on Project Runway. Was that shot in Prague?
Milan dahling, Milan. It was a show featuring designs worn by today’s “top” supermodels.
Ha! Nothing super about them. Spoiled, stupid, little stick figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves.
It’s all Tyra’s fault, her and that Miss J. Feh! I used to design for gods. How I miss the days before the real Supers had to go into hiding.
Speaking of Runway I feel that Santino was robbed. Would you agree?
I don’t disagree at all dahling. Anyone who can design and do such a delightful impression of Tim at the same time gets my vote.
Recently Tim was featured in some national Macy’s commercials along with domestic diva, Martha Stewart.
Domestic diva!? Ha! While I will admit that she does possess a certain business savvy let’s face it, the woman designs bedspreads in pastels. Pastels!!! Who does pastels really? And her tag line…who is she kidding? “It’s a good thing.” Blah blah blah. I say it’s all (censored)
Edna I feel the passion of your feelings. And let me tell you, I kind of like it.
Speaking of passion, and as you know I’m all for it. Tell us all about the personal crusade that you are working on.
Dahling I just knew we were going to come around to this. Yes it’s true I have been a long time advocate for No Capes. It seems I am constantly addressing this issue. Why only last week I had to remind a feline friend of mine about the inherent danger of not only capes but also of cuffed pants.
Cuffed pants? Feline friend? Would that have been Catwoman?
No dahling it was one of the Mistresses of Enchantment and Chaos. I not sure if I’m allowed to say which one.
It wasn’t enough that she already knew the fate of such Supers as Thunderhead, Stratogal, Meta-man, Dynaguy, and Splashdown. No, it was when I told her the tragic story about G-Girl that she finally saw the light. So now I have a new mantra. No Capes, No Cuffs, Be safe, don’t get snuffed.
Ahh the famous bike rack accident. What brought that up?
It’s was a sorted tale about good fashion that was entrusted to the wrong hands.
I suggest you visit her blog to get the full scoop. I just can’t bring myself to repeat such a tragic story. I get worked up every time I think about it dahling.
No, about the jeans dahling!
True very true I hate to see fashion abuse.
Any other areas of concern regarding Super fashion?
Metallic utility belts are a no no.
Please do explain.
Summer 1966, Gotham Harbor. Batman and the Boy Wonder where stuck to a magnetized buoy in the bay. If that noble porpoise had not leaped in front of that missile, that would have sealed their doom.
Now dahling its time for you to try on your new suit. This project has completely confiscated my life. My best work, I must admit. Simple, elegant, yet bold. You will die. When I designed Mr. Incredibles suit, and it turned out so beautiful, I had to continue.
Edna, this is beyond mahvelous Nando is speechless and you know, that in itself is amazing.
Yes, words are useless. Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble!
Too much of it, dahling. Too much! That is why I show you my work.
Again this week I feel giddy. I’ll try it on right now and model it for you over there on the veranda.
I cut it a little roomy for the free movement. The fabric is comfortable for sensitive skin, and can also withstand a temperature of over 1000 degrees. Completely bulletproof. And machine washable, dahling. Your suit can stretch as far as you can, without injuring yourself, and still retain its shape. Virtually indestructible...yet it breathes like Egyptian cotton.
Well, dahling? What do you think?
E, I look mahvelous absolutely mahvelous. Wouldn’t you agree.
Oh course you do dahling! How could you not!
Thank you for stopping by the hideaway E. Joining me in the booth next time will be none other than the founder of Team Voice RAE!
Nando, perhaps you should skip the mask dahling, it takes away from the now.
Either way dahling I look mahvelous, absolutely mahvelous.
Posted by Jeff W at 12:10 AM