Fernando's Hideaway - Sam The Eagle

Saludos my dah-lings and welcome back to the Hideaway! It’s so good to have you here. Come on in, let’s mingle.

I must tell you up front, and I am embarrassed to say it. Glenn is not with us again this week. It seems that he is rather busy disposing of a truckload of frozen cat treats that were accidently delivered for Passamaquoddy’s 4th of July celebration and cookout.

Although Glenn could not be with us, he did ask a member of the town’s celebration committee to stop by. And let me tell you dah-lings, you are in for a treat. I can not imagine a better choice to assist with a patriotic celebration.

Please welcome Sam the Eagle. Sam come on out,

May I say to you, your plumage looks mahvelous.

Greetings Mr. Lamas, and yes you may.
Yours looks err……you look good too.

Sam please call me Nando and please tell us how it is that you came to be involved with Passamaquoddy’s 4th of July celebration?

Well Mr. Nando I received a call from my agent stating that Glenn, pardon my familiarity, I mean Mr. Whelan, was interested in learning more about the patriotic finale I had originally planned for Muppet Vision 3D. As you may recall the frog only allowed me a minute and a half.

So you are saying that this Friday’s celebration will be…

A glorious three-hour finale! It's called "A Salute to All Nations, But Mostly America".

Tell me dah-ling, are you at liberty to share more about it?

Is that, suppose to be some kind of joke? Liberty is a serious thing. Our country was founded on liberation from an oppressive government. We never joke about Liberty.

No joke intended. I was only asking if you would like to tell us more about the finale.

Oh, well, that’s entirely different. It would give me great pleasure to discuss all of the details with you. As I said the finale is three hours long. It will take about five hours to do the read through. First we…

Sam please, we do not want to spoil the celebration for everyone. Just some highlights would be great.

Mr. Nando you are correct. The program starts at dusk as our nations flag is lowered to half staff in honor of those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms. There will be silence as Taps is played from the Lighthouse balcony.

Next there will be a dramatic reading of our national anthem “The Star Spangled Banner”. We had planned on Mr. Charlton Heston, sadly he is no longer with us. In his place we have invited Mr. Morgan Freeman.

An excellent choice. I loved his narration on Shawshank.

As did I.
During the read through last night, I actually wept when he read “On the shore, dimly seen”

That is touching. Let me guess at what is next. An appearance by Lee Greenwood?

Unfortunately no, a poll indicated that the use of Mr. Greenwood’s song has been overdone. However, as a Proud American, I respectfully disagree with that poll.
Instead Miss Martina McBride will be singing Independence Day.

Sam, you do know that song is not about the fourth of July.

I am shocked! You are kidding me…

I am a kidder, but not today, here are the lyrics.

Well that is not patriotic! Excuse me while I make a call. I'll put it on speaker.

Hello Scooter, This is Sam. McBride is out. Get me "The Voices of Liberty."

Sorry to tell you this Sam but they are not available. Seems there was an incident involving a salad with salmonela tomatoes. But don't worry Mayor Glenn is a step ahead of us. He has already found and announced a replacement to appear in the band shell.

Dare I ask who.

Jonathan Dichter "The Voice Of Liberty"

Jonathan Dichter. "The Voice Of Liberty" I like the sound of that. Tell Mayor Glenn nice work.

So Sam how will the night end?

Mr. Nando this is the best part. During our fireworks extravaganza, I personally will be conducting the Passamaquoddy town band to the patriotic music of John Philip Sousa. Regrettably this will be the only performance, as the band will resume playing “Fishes” on the fifth.

Well Sam this sounds mahvelous. And if all goes well, perhaps you will return next year. What are your plans following the fourth?

Actually I will be staying in town to assist my long time friend Lew Zealand, who along with his singing fish will be opening Mullet Vison 3D.


His flying swordfish act is amazing. I will be producing “A Salute to all Fishermen, but mostly American Fishermen.”

Well Sam thank you for stopping by the Hideaway. May your show be a great success.

Mr. Nando it has been my pleasure.

Till next time my friends. Adios from the Hideaway…